Turkey Jokes ... belated

They may be late but they're funny. Hope you had a happy Thanksgiving!

Q. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A. If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

Q. What is the Turkey's favorite black tie celebration?
A. The Butter Ball

Q. How does a Turkey drink her wine?
A. In a gobble-let

Q. Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
A. The outside!

Q. What is the key to a good Thanksgiving dinner?
A. The tur-key!

Q. How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
A. I'll tell you at Christmas.

* * * * * * *
The Turkey
The turkey shot out of the oven
And rocketed into the air,
It knocked every plate off the table
And partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner
And burst with a deafening boom,
Then splattered all over the kitchen,
Completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows,
It totally coated the floor,
There was turkey attached to the ceiling,
Where there'd never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance,
It smeared every saucer and bowl,
There wasn't a way I could stop it,
That turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,
And thought with chagrin as I mopped,
That I'd never again stuff a turkey
With popcorn that hadn't been popped.
* * * * * * *

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up! I'm starvin’!!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Sid.
Sid who?
Sid down. It's time to eat!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?
Phillip a big plate and dig in!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Phyllis.
Phyllis who?
Phyllis plate up too!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita nother napkin.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Alma.
Alma who?
Alma dinner's gone. May I have dessert?

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda piece of pecan pie?

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don't eat this much!

* * * * * * *

Frozen Turkeys
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."