Q: What's green and wears a mask?
A: The Lone Pickle!

Q: What is purple and swims in the sea?
A: Moby Grape!

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with peanut butter?
A: An elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth!

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.

Q: What is a criminal lawyer?
A: Redundant.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

An accordion is a bagpipe with pleats.

Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion?
A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.

Q: How do you know that a banjo player invented the tooth brush?
A: If anyone else had invented it, it would be called a teeth brush.

Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?
A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.

Q: Why does everyone hate a banjo right off?
A: Saves time.

Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
A: Give him a sheet of music.

Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, "Not bad, but I could've done better".