Wanna buy a frog?

A man walked into a bar and asked the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick will you give me a free drink?"

The bartender thought about it and agreed. The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny rat and a tiny piano. The rat stretched, cracked his knuckles and began playing the blues.

After the man finished his drink he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?"

Thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first he agreed. He reached into another pocket and pulled out a small bullfrog and the frog started singing while the rat played.

While the man was enjoying his beverages a stranger offered him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog.

"No," the man replied, "he's not for sale."

The stranger increased the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front.

"No," he insisted, "he's not for sale."

The stranger again increased the offer to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agreed and turned the frog over to the stranger for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you and you let him go for a mere $500,000!"

"Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."

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Exercise

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where on earth she is.

The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!